This is my blog so I can do what I think it's best, right? That was a rhetorical question, so screw you if you don't want to read don't even bother to complain. I have no friends, and I mean it, so in this boring moment I wonder how the fuck did I get here? To this stage in my life where I can absolutely do nothing, I'm completely trapped by my stupidity. I dug a hole, at first to hide from this hurting world, but I've been hiding for too long and the exit is way too high for me to reach, so I just lay inside feeling self pity, depression, angst, remorse, misery and all those sorts of things.
vendredi 22 janvier 2010
I needed to vent
jeudi 31 décembre 2009
Better Later than never
I'm really sorry i haven't posted anything here, but tumblr has consumed me completely lol.



vendredi 11 décembre 2009
Cheap Publicity
I've got a tumblr now thx to miss Cee Cee it's called Stiritupalilbit check it out sometime, like someday xd thx
randomness is all I'm up for
getting sthing out of my chest
A veces necesitamos sacar ciertas cosas, el problema es que a veces las llevas tan fuera que ya no te pertenecen
mercredi 9 décembre 2009
interview with myself
Wednesday, December 9
I'm so sleepy why did i wake up so early
2. HOW MUCH CASH DO YOU HAVE ON YOU?
5ooo chileanpesos
3. A WORD THAT RHYMES WITH "DOOR"?
Gore?
4. FAVOURITE PLANET?
Neptune, the king of the seas
5. WHO IS THE 4th PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST ON YOUR MOBILE?
my cellphone doesn't reach a fourth person in the missed calls (it's nu, so ...)
7. WHAT SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
A green Levi's polo shirt
8. DO YOU "LABEL" YOURSELF AS ANYTHING?
as a procrastinator
9. NAME THE SHOE BRAND YOU ARE WEARING.
no shoes, only socks
10. BRIGHT OR DARK ROOM?
Dark actually i can hardly see anything else than the monitor.
11. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON WHO TOOK THIS SURVEY?
mmm another bored person like mois
13. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT?
listening to random music, playing some facebook lame game
14. WHAT DID YOUR LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED ON YOUR MOBILE SAID?
no messages
15. WHERE IS YOUR MAILBOX?
Just in my imagination
16. A PHRASE YOU SAY A LOT?
lprostituirse es malo
17. WHO TOLD YOU HE/SHE LOVED YOU LAST?
has anyone ever told me that?
18. LAST FURRY THING YOU TOUCHED?
a weird cushion
19. HOW MANY DRUGS HAVE YOU DONE IN THE LAST 3 DAYS?
2 pills in the morning one in the night and severall glasses of coke
21. FAVOURITE AGE YOU'VE BEEN SO FAR?
4 maybe
22. YOUR WORST ENEMY?
sports
23. CURRENT IMAGE ON YOUR DESKTOP?
a landscape with a tree in the middle and some fantasy lines and stripes around it
24. WHAT WA THE LAST THING YOU SAID TO SOMEONE?
ok adiós
25. IF YOU HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN A MILLION BUCKS OR TO BE ABLE TO FLY, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
fly:B
26. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?
maybe
27. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO?
alejandro xD
28. IF THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE WAS GETTING SHOT AT, WOULD YOU JUMP IN FRONT OF THE BULLET?
yes
29. IF YOU COULD PUNCH ONE PERSON IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT NOW, WHO WOULD IT BE?
spongebob, chucky and scarecrow
30. WHAT IS THE CLOSEST OBJECT TO YOUR LEFT FOOT?
my right thigh
1.ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
in my right knee, surgery, remotion of a big mole
2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
wall paper and paint
3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?
i think i sometime grind my teeth
4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
5. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
nop
6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
it's private so i won't answer.
7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
many things and people
8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?
my blanket, i sleep with it just like linus does
9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?
1.70m i've been told, but now officially measured
10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
yes sometimes and with big crowds it only gets worse
11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
nope
12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
someone i don't want to name but they might know
13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
i have too many of them
14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
it doesn't matter, they all've been different
15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?
17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
cheese, extra cheese, cheesy pops, and more cheese
18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
a piece of marzipan
19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?
green
20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?
Nope.
21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?
22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?
23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
yes i can put both of my feet behind my neck and i can also do weird stuff with my fingers and hands and neck and... pretty much every joint
24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
25. WHO IS YOUR FAV FEMALE/MALE CELEBRITY?
meryl streep/ jack nicholson
26. DO YOU HAVE A PET(S) RIGHT NOW?
yeah it's name it's dirt or florencia but we call her malicio
27. WHAT KIND IS IT?
a tiny lil specie
28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING
yes
30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
4
31. BLONDS OR BRUNETTES?
somewhere in between?
32. FAVORITE QUOTE?
one from aristoteles about friendship
33. FAVORITE PLACE?
searching it
34. HAVE YOU BEEN OUT OF THE USA?
yes.... but i'd like to be inside some day
35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
too many to tell, they show by themselves
36. MET ANYONE FAMOUS?
yes but not hollywood famous xD
37. FIRST JOB?
uncle's shop
38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Yes.
39. DO YOU THINK EVERYONE OUT THERE HAS A SOULMATE?
i hope so
40. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED THIS OUT?
beeing bored
41. HAVE YOU EVER HAD SURGERY?
Yes
42. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
hair, inteligence. (¿?)
43. HAVE YOU EVER HAD BRACES?
yes
44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
maybe a nu cellphone or some clothes or shoes dunno.
45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT AND THEIR NAMES?
2 maximum 3, maybe trinidad or eloisa and dunno the boy name is harder
46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
yes mum's brother who lived like 3 weeks
47. WHAT IS THE BIGGEST TURN OFF OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
grease, every kind of
48. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU LIKED ABOUT HIGH SCHOOL?
breaks?
49. WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE?
do not remember the name something with sunflower i remember the drawing xD
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
absolutely hate it, though i like my stylographic pen writing it's very long and cool
51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
mashed potatoes and sausage?
52. ANY BAD HABITS?
crack my neck, bare foot all day long, unhealthy food, sarcasm, trouble sleeping
53. ARE YOU A JEALOUS PERSON?
you can't even imagine how much
54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
i don't think so
55. DO YOU AGREE WITH FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS?
no, i do believe in commitment
56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
Crying or talking dunno, always with music
59. WHAT'S YOUR MAIN GOAL IN LIFE?
rule the world wuahaha..... em not? well dunno
60. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
a panda bear and a dog and a simba too and my batmans and my trains
61. HOW MANY NUMBERS ARE IN YOUR CELL PHONE?
more or less... 0
62.WERE YOU A FAN OF BARNEY AS A LITTLE KID?
nope
63. DO YOU USE SCARCASM?
Me? how dare you?
64. MASHED POTATOES OR MACARONI AND CHEESE?
long live the maccaroni
66. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
co, francisco, pancho, cococho, cocoldo, panchito, pelao
67. IF YOU HAD A SUPER POWER WHAT WOULD IT?
flying
68. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW?
69.WHAT'S THE BEST WAY TO DEAL WITH YOUR ENEMIES?
killing them slowly and painfully in a very humilliating way
70. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
amaretto i think :B
71. DO YOU HAVE ALL YOUR FINGERS AND TOES?
yes
72. DO YOU HAVE A COMPUTER IN YOUR ROOM?
desktop and notebook
73. PLANS FOR TONIGHT?
going to bathroom brush my teeth take off my contacts put on a pijama and sleep
74. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WHEN YOU ARE OLDER?
france, monaco, england, new york
75. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
doesnt matter probably i won't read everyone's answer, id read just the ppl that matter
76. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO?
nothing :O:O it's a miracle!!
77. THE LAST THING YOU DRANK?
berries juice, artificially flavoured
78. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
carolina salinas
79. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
eyes, neck, hands
80. WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME?
music, music, music, tv, did i mention music?
81. FAVORITE THING TO HATE?
comunism
82. Favorite season?
winter
83. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE OF CANDY?
anise ones
84. HAVE YOU EVER REALLY AND TRULY HAD A BEST FRIEND?
nop
85. WHAT IS YOUR HAIR COLOR?
light brown with weird shades of every color in the world
86. EYE COLOR?
brown
87. SHOE SIZE?
40 i think but i wear them bigger cuz it's comfy
88. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE?
mc donald's
89. FAVORITE RESTAURANT?
dunno
90. DO YOU LIKE SUSHI?
not really
91. WATCH TV TODAY?
yes of course
92. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR?
don't have one
93. PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS?
i know how to play severall but playing them is different..... i know flute harmonica zampoña ocarina some piano and a tiny bit of guitar
94. REPUBLICAN OR DEMOCRAT?
i'd be republican if i was american but i don't believe in things they do
95. KiSSES OR HUGS?
96. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
repeat, believe in commitmet so relationship is the obvious answer
97. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU BOUGHT?
coke
98. WOULD YOU EVER BE A HOUSEWIFE?
im not a woman duh
99. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
none
100. DESCRIBE YOUR LOVE LIFE?
mardi 8 décembre 2009
dimanche 6 décembre 2009
Azufre y miel

I don't wanna turn this into a please understand me entry, so i wanna say that all i need, yeah like radiohead's song is that i closed the friendships and almost friendships office. The last category has a big list.
I really tried, but i can't stand, some say i don't try, that i need to be more open, but i say what i think, but i can't afford saying everything i feel cause it gives someone else the power of hurting me, bad. Well it doesn't mean that they don't hurt me, but consciousness of it would make it all worse.

And I believe that i get attached too easily, but it's not mutual. And people sometimes say that i'm cold or stuff but it's just me protecting the inner me. And it all hurts, it feels like a big weight over my chest, it's not even metaphoric, it's real.
dimanche 29 novembre 2009
El canto del Loco
vendredi 20 novembre 2009
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