Azufre y miel

You ate my heart out

I don't know how to start this post, so as you can read, I'm writing that I don't know what to start with. Second I'd like to say that I'm not going to school at the moment all because of mental issues, no, not crazy, just depressed, no, not just, totally depressed. And I don't like talking about it but i really want to talk about the fact that everyone tell me that i have to make an effort, and put of my side in order to get better, but what they don't really get is that the very act of speaking with them is a big effort, breathing, waking up, and everything else.
I don't wanna turn this into a please understand me entry, so i wanna say that all i need, yeah like radiohead's song is that i closed the friendships and almost friendships office. The last category has a big list.

I forgot that i was talking about me not going to school, it's very relaxing not going to school

no tests, no homework (never did it, anyways), no waking up every day and not seeing some classmates is a relief for me.
I really tried, but i can't stand, some say i don't try, that i need to be more open, but i say what i think, but i can't afford saying everything i feel cause it gives someone else the power of hurting me, bad. Well it doesn't mean that they don't hurt me, but consciousness of it would make it all worse.

And I believe that i get attached too easily, but it's not mutual. And people sometimes say that i'm cold or stuff but it's just me protecting the inner me. And it all hurts, it feels like a big weight over my chest, it's not even metaphoric, it's real.

Dunno why nor how i turned this into a self therapy thing, but the truth is that, if life is about making mistakes, I've lived too much i guess.