Sometimes I wonder if things get better

But that's just wondering

because I know I don't want them to get better

I don't deserve them to

Paradise

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep
and dreamed of Paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
and the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night she'll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she'd fly

and dreams of Paradise
She'd dream of Paradise

And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She'd say, "oh, I know the sun must set to rise"

This could be Paradise

the main reason i will never be okay
is because i don't want to be okay

I've been neglecting my blog for a long time
but I don't know what to say
or to do
I feel lost
and I doubt I'll be getting into college next year